Lulz Hate and Huh? A peek in the TFI mailbag

Tuesday, July 26, 2011   Nick   1 Comment

As of late, our mail flow has seen a significant increase. Some complimentary and lavishing us with praise, some telling me how they had read our blog posts and find them very interesting and if I would just follow a link and download the keylogger 9000 I can claim my portion of the Ethiopian holdings of an exiled widow. Others, (my personal favorite) wishing a herd of syphilitic camels would camp on our collective faces while  performing an act referred to as “facial decking”

We do spend hours combing through these emails but our schedule simply doesnt allow for a carefully crafted response to all of them. So in the interest of time, I would like to respond to a few of them here:

YOU THINK YOUR PRETTY FUCKING FUNNY DONT YOU, YOU ARE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. I USED TO KICK THE FUCK OUT OF YOU NEWS FAGS IN SCHOOL JUST TO WATCH YOU CRY!!!1!!

You are only partially correct. I find myself to be partially humorous, partially asshole. Its a delicate balance that I struggle to maintain. As for wanting to physically harm me, I reject your advances and instead send you internet hugs, rainbows and sprinkles, and the only thing that makes me cry is Terms of Endearment, and watching ponies run free, and reading blistering walls of text.

your not the used on for my car. this you cant be rake. take out fried and if your plz.

I took a clodhopper related to the haunch (with a womanly gonad, a menagé à trois, a few biceps, and a flipper about a hand) to arrive at a state of intimacy where we can inexorably admonish our waif. Sometimes a widow self-flatulates, but a halfhearted bodice ripper always makes love to the ungodly cigar! A surly bicep hides, and the curse completely learns a hard lesson from a toothache defined by a pocket.

You are a disgusting little prick and you should be placed in an open forum, drawn and quartered and have your entrails scattered around the neighborhood to show the other little Neanderthals that may cross your dismembered path that ignorance and buffoonery shall not be tolerated.

You miss one freaking Mothers Day…..

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