@anonymousSabu d0x’d

My crack team of journalists and h@x0rs have done the unthinkable, the unknowable, we have in fact exposed Sir Sabu the great and I am putting this shit on blast for the world to see.

With the use of sophisticated tools such as kazaa, limewire (I know its dead, ive been at this a while) and some of the most 1337 googlin ever witnessed by a human being, I have uncovered what HAS to be the most exhaustive d0x ever attempted.

*******Pertinent Info*******

Name – Duh…its Sabu cant you read? (p.s. not very anonymous when you tell your name like that #justsayin)

Address – Mobile (Like literally, last reported on the highway 1 hangin an aircard out the window trying to get a better signal)

Handles – Crash Override, Sabu, TheAllPowerFul, and 1m@h@xy0rf@c30ff

Email Addresses – Sah-Boo@gmail.com , wtbsecks@bigbootygurls.com stevejobs@microsoft.com , theleetest@aol.com

Back Story:

Depending on who you believe he was either born in Moscow, London, or Ft Wayne Indiana. All are equally credible, but that homeless guy I asked said something about Los Angeles, but when he offered me oral sex for a nickel, I hurried on my way.

His first word was noob. At the age of 4 he hacked his see and say to make it say “fart” and “boobs”. From that moment on he was hooked.

Much like Jesus, his formative years appear to be undocumented, but he reemerged again in his teen years where he was a part time model to fund his growing need for TI-84’s. It is reported that he daisy chained them together, and with some radio shack peripherals and a phone cord, he started a fledgling search engine company he affectionately called “Saboogle”, And was said to be very upset when he was ripped off by some other company although we couldn’t verify which company was referred to.

It was at about this time that he disappears in to the collective known as “Anonymous” where he spent the next few years in /b/ and /r/ frantically spamming “tits or gtfo” chanting newfag, summerfag, and something called “roody-poo”

He rose to international infamy with the 50 day antics of “Lulzsec” and that story is very well documented.

When asking Sabu for a comment on the information to drop he replied “lol..nice try skid” and everyone knows, denial means its totally true.

TFI – I guess you heard, eh. Tope got snatched up and he is giving exclusive interviews to Old Brutus.

SABU – I read that. Dont h8 man, They are institutions. You butthurt brah?

TFI – Ya, A little.

SABU – I hear they got a form for that shit, you should check it out.

SABU – brb fappin

TFI – …….

TFI – Sabu, I dont want to get all star struck and shit here but I want to thank you for this session /b/ro.

SABU – Nah its cool brah, with Tope being gone the rest of us have to step up our media presence.

TFI – Well if you dont mind, I would like to get right to it then.

SABU – Right on

TFI – Well, for openers, what are your personal thoughts on the Antisec movement and Anonymous in general.

SABU – Crobat is a unique Pokemon due to the fact that he can do so much for you. He has access to moves like Nasty Plot and Heatwave, along with Sludge Bomb and Air Slash, (This is better accomplished by Evolite Golbat.) His speed is amazing. He outspeed his entire tier outside of Accelgor and Electrode, one of which can’t hurt him, and the other one is never used ever. Crobats attack stat is okay along with his 85/80/80 defense making him a pretty solid pokemon. Also his access to Brave Bird and Roost don’t hurt either.

TFI – lol….wut?

SABU – Did you know, None of the medical tests currently used to detect brain damage in humans have found harm from marijuana, even from long term high dose use. An early study showed brain damage to rhesus monkeys after six months exposure to high concentrations of marijuana smoke. In a recent, more carefully conducted study, researchers found no evidence of brain abnormality in monkeys

TFI – I feel ya, thats some mind expanding shit right there man, damn shame you arent a monkey

SABU – werd.

TFI – Should you eventually get caught, What you want the world to know about you?

SABU – Im a level 85 Night Elf Hunter on Hellscream. Named Schrödinger and I have a bad ass pet named Cat. I tore up battlegrounds with wreckless abandon and showed no mercy to those hordes. My guild was called My Little Pwnys and we were feared near and far. Many flaming posts on forums for raping face and camping corpses.

SABU – Sec

TFI – Sure

import botlib

ugreet = “Hello SabuGuy!”

kgreet = “Hello TopiaryGirl!”

tgreet = “Hello Ti-PrgmR!”

# Create a new class for our retweetbot, extending the Bot class from botlib class HelloWorldBot(botlib.Bot):

def __init__(self, server, channel, nick, password=None): botlib.

Bot.__init__(self, server, 6667, channel, nick) # Send nickserv password if availible if password !=

None: self.protocol.privmsg(“nickserv”, “identify” % password)

TFI – Umm. What the hell was that?

SABU – no worries m8, just something I am working on.

TFI – ya, ok..hey I know your busy, just one more question.

SABU – shoot

TFI – Any hints on the next big leak?

SABU – Since the arena is a meteor and therefore stone, Digging isn’t allowed. Flying in this arena is possible, but not smart because if a rocketeer flies above 9 feet, he has a 10% chance of hitting a meteor, and For every 9 feet a soldier flies above the arena, there is another 10% chance of hitting a meteor. So we are thinking more like Unicorns and potentially just blowing everyones minds and going with a badger.

TFI – Gotcha. Well, I appreciate your taking the time. Stay safe mate, and thanks.

SABU – Peace out brah.

We do spend hours combing through these emails but our schedule simply doesnt allow for a carefully crafted response to all of them. So in the interest of time, I would like to respond to a few of them here:

YOU THINK YOUR PRETTY FUCKING FUNNY DONT YOU, YOU ARE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. I USED TO KICK THE FUCK OUT OF YOU NEWS FAGS IN SCHOOL JUST TO WATCH YOU CRY!!!1!!

You are only partially correct. I find myself to be partially humorous, partially asshole. Its a delicate balance that I struggle to maintain. As for wanting to physically harm me, I reject your advances and instead send you internet hugs, rainbows and sprinkles, and the only thing that makes me cry is Terms of Endearment, and watching ponies run free, and reading blistering walls of text.

your not the used on for my car. this you cant be rake. take out fried and if your plz.

I took a clodhopper related to the haunch (with a womanly gonad, a menagé à trois, a few biceps, and a flipper about a hand) to arrive at a state of intimacy where we can inexorably admonish our waif. Sometimes a widow self-flatulates, but a halfhearted bodice ripper always makes love to the ungodly cigar! A surly bicep hides, and the curse completely learns a hard lesson from a toothache defined by a pocket.

You are a disgusting little prick and you should be placed in an open forum, drawn and quartered and have your entrails scattered around the neighborhood to show the other little Neanderthals that may cross your dismembered path that ignorance and buffoonery shall not be tolerated.

You miss one freaking Mothers Day…..

With Topiary building callouses on his puckered starfish, Kayla trying to appear to be jet setting all over Europe, and Tflow interviewing backup dancers for his latest performance of “I’m not anonymous and neither is anyone else” All we are left with is the hundreds of anon-lemmings, and the pitiful attempts to say that the little Scottish kid that got grabbed up isn’t Tope.

News Flash: #1: The time for disinformation is over for these individuals.

At this point all you can really do is hope that you can minimally poison a jury pool, considering of course any of them are even aware of who you are beyond the box of prophylactics that were delivered to their mothers. If you were foolish enough to actually let anyone know who you were or any little tid-bit of information about who you really are, your fucked.

My initial reaction to Sabu’s statement that Tflow must have snitched him out was a little alarming. The only time he EVER admits to anything is a sure sign its bullshit. But I think he was in ‘omgwtfbbq mode’ the tone of his tweets for about the next hour declined rapidly.

So what are we left with? Pitiful amounts of crap, nightly regurgitation’s of Sabu’s daily tweet limit while he attempts to ensure himself and us that his ‘work’ is somehow important to someone other than the angst filled kids they keep sacrificing for their cause, and endless re-tweets of “you cant arrest an idea”

NEWS FLASH #2: They aren’t interested in arresting an idea!

Ideas are completely legal. It’s the easily led lemmings with no impulse control or the means to think for themselves that actually ACT ON THE IDEA and COMMIT CRIMES, that they are interested in arresting. And that my little mask-wearing friends, they can and will.

Ask yourselves, do you think Tope’s sitting in a cell somewhere feeling self righteous and proud of the impact he had on popular culture and the awareness that your group has managed to thrust upon the world stage? Or do you think that his actions will be tainted with the fear of being pimped out for a half a pack of Marlboro’s?

I don’t know if they will grab up Sabu, but what I do know, is that if Tope/Ryan/Tflow/Kayla  have ANY clue who any of you are, your days are numbered. He is in survival mode and when or if he weighs the choices out, its pretty clear. His ass is way more valuable than yours.

*steps off soap box*

-Taynt